This letter will most likely never reach the addressee, and I have resigned to such fate.
Dear Roux,
The sights and the feelings of yore never came rushing to me like a collapsing mega-sized dam before. To think that such a time will come haunt me like my grandfather tends to do to my mother and her sisters; it just never crossed my mind. So much sceneries—too beautiful that I cried a thousand oceans—played before my eyes.
It was as if my eyes were playing tricks on me, like how I fooled myself that it was just ‘slow living’ or love was meant to have ‘boring days.’ Because isn’t it foolish to ever think that loving someone will ever be boring even for a single day? To live in the same universe as someone you love, to laugh and tell stories with someone you love, and to just be beside someone you love is enough to be called ‘fun.’ It doesn’t even have to be labeled, but I just don’t think now that such a day would be ‘boring.’
On this same desk where I am scrambling to jot all these overflowing feelings down, I wrote all the cheesy stuff that I just felt before in those canary blue index cards. It was honest and sincere, and I destroyed all of that in just one day and it sucks. Like how fast time passed by us, the kingdom we built was consumed by the very fire I started. It all turned into soot, rubble, and dust in mere seconds. It’s really hard to wave one’s hand with a handkerchief and bid farewell to someone you swore you’d love ‘til your last breath, and I’m just not ready for that unlike when I was about to set the kingdom ablaze.
In between the shadows the leaves make, sunlight seeps in and I just hope that you—the lakeside conqueror and giver of a million kisses—would find the greatest joy there is in this vast universe. The first thing you asked me, the night we went out for ice cream, was the reason I fell in love with you. There is so much to love about you and frankly until now, I’d still blank my head out just thinking of one. What I saw in you was a person that’d fill my mind with awe, because you see, you might just be the world’s eighth wonder—and I mean that. I know you might already know this but all the times I told you that I love you were true. It was not me choosing words to come out of my mouth, it was my heart pushing things out of my lips.
I loved you, and will love you for a long time, Roux.
It was as if my eyes were playing tricks on me, like how I fooled myself that it was just ‘slow living’ or love was meant to have ‘boring days.’ Because isn’t it foolish to ever think that loving someone will ever be boring even for a single day? To live in the same universe as someone you love, to laugh and tell stories with someone you love, and to just be beside someone you love is enough to be called ‘fun.’ It doesn’t even have to be labeled, but I just don’t think now that such a day would be ‘boring.’
On this same desk where I am scrambling to jot all these overflowing feelings down, I wrote all the cheesy stuff that I just felt before in those canary blue index cards. It was honest and sincere, and I destroyed all of that in just one day and it sucks. Like how fast time passed by us, the kingdom we built was consumed by the very fire I started. It all turned into soot, rubble, and dust in mere seconds. It’s really hard to wave one’s hand with a handkerchief and bid farewell to someone you swore you’d love ‘til your last breath, and I’m just not ready for that unlike when I was about to set the kingdom ablaze.
In between the shadows the leaves make, sunlight seeps in and I just hope that you—the lakeside conqueror and giver of a million kisses—would find the greatest joy there is in this vast universe. The first thing you asked me, the night we went out for ice cream, was the reason I fell in love with you. There is so much to love about you and frankly until now, I’d still blank my head out just thinking of one. What I saw in you was a person that’d fill my mind with awe, because you see, you might just be the world’s eighth wonder—and I mean that. I know you might already know this but all the times I told you that I love you were true. It was not me choosing words to come out of my mouth, it was my heart pushing things out of my lips.
I loved you, and will love you for a long time, Roux.
Truly yours,
Jeric
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